My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
