Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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