mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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