Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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