The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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