sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
