You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
