it's like iHOP with fire
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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