I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
