New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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