That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
