in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
