dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
