I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
