and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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