At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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