I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
