Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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