If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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