That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
