ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
