I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize