it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
