All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
