you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this hospital has no fireball
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think i got beer on your cat.
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