Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
