She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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