If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize