OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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