As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
