I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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