I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
