The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dicks are not precious.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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