some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
