Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
