I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
