where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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