Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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