I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it glows. i had to have it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
