Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
