Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Say something about gay babies.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
