I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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