then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
NoShamevember. You game?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
