real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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