WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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