if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize