my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.