I like to think it a success when the cops are called
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax