if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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