Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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