i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize