she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
