Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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