They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
