nut hugger
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
