5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
