Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
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Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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